Georgia and The Gang's MAD adventures
by kittykins27
Summary: So Georgia is currently with Robbie but what is up with her eyeballing Dave the laugh...could there be an attraction or is Dave being a bloody fool and fooling around again...
1. I refuse to be a loon

******Authors Note: First, All credits belong to the real author of this book Louise Rennison. I own nothing. if you are reading this, i realize this chapter doesn't really relate to the summary in any way but i promise you, its just this chapter. The second and third (which i'm yet to publish) makes more sense. I also realize that there are a few grammatical errors so i apologize in advance. if anyone has any recommendation for a beta, i would really appreciate it.  
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**If at any point, you feel the dialogue is not very Georgia-ish, i'm sorry! Sometimes, i digress.  
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**Ok. Go on. Read & Review if you please.  
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**In the closet : 2:00pm**

I am stuck in the bottom again.

Rats!

Libby, Oh dear Sister...Why must you want to play with me? Aren't their kiddies your own age you might want to play closet and key with? Even Jas might want to play..since apparently she's into the strange and weird.

Oh well, i might as well hum. i once read in an american article that humming is good for you...might as well try it.

**5 mins wasted humming**

Ho hum! Pig's Bum! this is quite boring extraordinaire. Maybe if i'm quiet enough, Mutti would remember i've been gone for awhile.

As if...She and Vati are probably having wild sex in the garage.

Oh dear God, why did i just think of that?

i must now cleanse myself the instant i'm out of this closet.

**2:15 pm**

A small squeaky voice calls my name.

Baby Jesus? Is that you? no-no what am i rambling about? Shut Up Brain!

"Libby" I say. No answer but more squeaking. I yell out more panicked "libbys" but no answer.

Ouch! What is that? My bum's cramping. I should have followed Mabs to her strange aunt's bum massaging clinic.

God Help me! If i get out of this rat's corner alive, i would engage in a five day bum protecting cleanse.

Is that even possible?...Who cares?

What is that? I hear kissing sounds. Please, let it not be Mutti and Vati. Dear Jesus, i've been scarred enough already. I do not want to die. Not when i would be remembered as "Georgia, the girl with the cramped bum who died in a freaking rat's corner"

**2 mins later...**

I hear them again...No, its Mutti and Vati! I must keep quiet now...

"Oh baby, i miss this" Vati says. (More smooching sounds)

"You know i love it when you do that" Mutti giggles.

What in ponytails are they doing? They can't possibly be...Erlack!

One pile of vomit coming up. Why can't Mutti and Vati be like normal parents? Why can't they be like Jas's?

It's funny(no, its not) that Jas's M and V are normal and Jas is the queen of the strange while my M and V are insane while i am the only one full of calmnosity and normality.

I must be special.

**1 min later.**

My bum is cramping up again as i squeeze myself.

"Baby, do you hear that?" Mutti says. She's always had super hearing. Don't ask me why. It's completely unexplanable that she can hear my baby squeak amidst her snogging session with vati.

"yes yes, like a squeak?" Vati says. I roll my eyes at his obvious stupidity.

"Libby, are you there?" He yells at the closet.

Why yes, Captain Obvious. Now get me out of here before i die of a cramped bum-oley.

Stupid Vati...

"Its Georgia" i say

"What the bloody hell is she doing in there?" Mutti whispers.

"I told you she's lost it" Vati complains as he trys to open the rat's corner.

**5 exhausting mins later..**

He finally gets it open after much panting. Took him long enough.

"What the bloody hell were you doing?" Vati lashes out, his eyes wild and maniacal. Well, in his defense, they've always been that way.

"I was playing with Libby" I say, "She likes to play closet and key"

Vati scratches his "Mad Hatter" hair suspiciously...

"If you hid my underpants and are trying to hide it from me, you'd better tell me Georgia or i will cease my fivers"

What the bloody undercrackers? Why in the name of all things sane would i want vati's undercrackers? He's so paranoid. So a girl can't spend some time in a rat's corner without being questioned on her sanity and undercrackers? I must ignore him.

I and Vati do not mix. I walk up the stairs quickly and snuggle with Mr. Duvet

**5-7 mins later...( in my cozy room)**

Aah...this is nice... Just some "Me time" alone.

I am vair vair tired.

hmm...but why do i feel something soft and warm underneath my beddie-weddie?

I stand up quickly and take a look.

STOP IN THE NAME OF UNDERCRACKERS!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

Is that human poo i see before me?


	2. And so it happened at the footie park

**Author's Note: As i promised in the first chapter, this is when the real story begins. I worked really hard on this so i hope its decent. Reviews will be really appreciated but for now, Enjoy!  
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**One more thing, i'm bad at grammar. overlook the horrible ones you notice.  
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**All credit belongs to Louise REnnison. I own nothing!  
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**In the Bathroom: 2:00pm**

So its Saturday and i am getting ready to visit Jas and the ace gang at the football park Err, i must exhibite marvelosity and ultimate hawtness. My lippy is all smudgy-wudgy but that's all right.

Just a little swipe and...ahhh

What is that? I panick as i look in the mirror to take a peek at my gorgey self.

It can't be a...spot?

No, GiddyGod. Not now, not when i'm about to showcase that i'm a free reindeer blobbing around my red nose and indicating full-on red bottomisity...

Dave the laugh won't be going to the park right?

**20 seconds later...**

Wait...What?

Why do I care?...its not like i have the occasional horn for him..

Ok, it happened once...or maybe twice...

Fine! stop being such a bugger. i will tell the truth. it happened like three or more times.

Brain, it does not matter. Just shut up! and focus on my pimple!

**2 mins pass by..**

I mean, its bad enough that i have the nose of an overweight pig and the basoomas of a pregnant woman. Now, i have a fat red glowing pimple beside my lip.

Surely, there must be a way to fix this...

Its time to think...Think Georgia!...Think!

**5 mins wasted racking my brain for a solution**

Ouch! it hurts to think so hard...

But wait, I've got it! The remedy is here!

I grab my eyeliner and rub it on my spot.

Now, it looks like a mole. Thanks baby Jesus!

Now, all i have left is to apply foundy, masky, and more lippy.

I want to look like a young, adolescent Marilyn Monroe...not that i'm blonde or anything.

I hate blondes. Something that has to do with wet lindsay and her insect legs.

She's so drippy and wet.

Where is my insecticide anyways?

**1 min later**

Oh God, I hope I don't see her at the park.

Her fake basoomas might just literally pop out of their boulder-holders and choke me to death.

**30 secs later..**

(Breathing like a mad, panting dog)

What the bloody hell Georgia? Cool your overwondering mind down. As i calm my nervy-wervy, i hear some thumping.

Gee, it must be the mad swiss family.

Mutti barges into my room without permission.

For the love of all, Mutti, knock on the damn door before barging in like a mad vole.

She huffs and yells at me "Georgie, Aren't you ready? I have been waiting for the last 25 mins!"

Oh, sit your basoomas down Mutti...I will be ready in a fiver.

Geez.

I apply more liner on my blob of doom then say

"since i'm all done with my emergency, you may now heave and tuck your basoomas in and drop me off at the park. okay mutti?"

She looks at me turning red and i know that i may have...just a bitsy-bit- might have started WWIII

What a life...

**#10 in the air.**

So, i am situated at the footie park with ellen, mabs, jools, rosie, jas and the rest of the gang.

Its all marvy and a bit nippy-noodles but thats all right.

i am in the company of my truest mates and thats all that matters.

Or at least used to matter till Radio Jas phoned in.

She says "Err Georgie, i want to talk in private about...errr..you know...err"

"Spit it out Jas. i dont know unless you tell me" Geez, what is wrong with her.

She's becoming a bit like ellen.

We should have a dithering competition soon. I bet Ellen would still emerge victorious.

hmmm...

"its about tom" she says. The entire ace gang stare at her.

"What is it?" jools say. She's obviously enticed about this conversation.

"Well...err, he's been talking about getting to #10 lately. I don't know but i don't think i'm ready"

"You aren't? well me and rollo have been nearing it lately" Jools randomly say

We all look at her. Stupid Tart. She's always slinging around with rollo and fondling in public. Its no surprise they are getting there.

"Well, i don't know about you loonies but me and Robbie are still in #5" `

We all start to talk about the snogging scale and i can see the queen of the strange getting upset.

"What the bloody hell guys? this is supposed to be about me and Tom" She finally explodes.

Gee, take a breather vole lady.

"Err..i don't know...but i mean..er..i think you should..you know...maybe wait...i mean you are still vair young...he...err..maybe..might not be your one and only..and you..may..want to do it with someone else" Ellen the queen of dithering says

Spooks and Spindles!, she's broken a record. Sometimes, i want to shake her hard so she could get to the point already.

"i thought so too. i mean isn't it supposed to be special?" vole lady says

Oh please, if not for le fact that robbie left me for the land of the dim and stupid, i would be getting to #'s 7 and 8 right now.

Oh wells..i must now listen to jas go on and on about doing it with Tom.

Its funny cause considering the amount of snogging they engage in, you would have thought they might have been up and steady at night.

Erlackapongoes! i just thought of Jas and Hunky getting busy...

Must. Focus. On. Something. Else.

**5 mins later...**

She's still blubbering on and on about her and Tom.

"For the love of voles and mad owls, Jas, Shut up!" i scream..

Pant. Pant. Pant. My basoomas are heaving as i pant.

Jas is giving me the evils now and i know i won't be getting any midget gems at our next ace gang meeting.

"By the way guys, Sven is having a gig with his friend who is a guitarist this weekend?" Rosie pipe up

"Err..i thought..errr, isn't sven a viking?" the dithering queen puts in.

Baby Spackaroonies, now i really want to shove ellen.

Baby Jesus, please tie my hands.

"i will be there" I say happily. Great way to meet Dave the laugh "accidentally"

I bet he will look gorgey-porgey with his hair all spiked up. Oh, i must impress him.

What to wear...What to wear?

**1 min later..**

What the bloody hell am i rambling on about? This isn't about Dave the laugh.

I love Robbie. I love Robbie...not dave the laugh. I love Robbie so much it hurts.

"Oh, i forgot" rosie says "You have to bring a date"

"Oo-er, i am bringing tom"

"I'm bringing Rollo"

"Err..since we must have a date...erm..err i guess i might ask dave. Georgie is that okay with you?" ellen dithers

What the bloody hell. Of course not!

"Why not? as long as you don't dither him into oblivion" i joke

She's all frowny-wowny. What did i do? It was only a joke.

didn't mean to get her small fragile dithering feelings hurt.

"Well, who are you bringing Georgia?" jas asks.

I don't understand. Is she still giving me the cold shoulderosity or not?

"i will simply ask one of the blokes around. maybe declan or some other prats?"

Jas says nothing and squints at me some more.

She's so suspicious. She doesn't believe me.

**5 mins later**

Wet lindsay slithers into the park with some bloke.

At least, she's got her insect fingers off Robbie...for now.

Dave follows with a few of his mates.

I must say, he's looking quite gorgey today with his t-shirt and knickers.

I eyeball him some more and the instance i look away, Jas is eyeballing me too.

I go up to her and say

"its either you are now on the turn or you are done ignorez-vousing me and are now reprimanding me for my red-bottom(ish) ways"

"Georgia, if you would behave with a bit of maturosity sometimes, i wont give you the cold sholderosity work" She quips intelligently.

"well then, i am vair vair sorry jas. i should have listened to you when you rambled-er, i mean spoke intelligently about your trouble in paradise"

"Good, now what it is with you and Dave the laugh. I can see you eye-balling him. I swear, if anybody wasn't looking, you would rip his knickers off his bum and get busy" She says.

Caught in action. I must feign stupidiosity.

"What do you mean Jas? I love Robbie. Our souls are interconnected in Zen land. Madame Vouler even said so" I ramble.

"Then why can't you keep your eyes off him?"

"Jas, you of all people should know i have the occasional horn for him. Really, its nothing special. Just a few snogs here and there"

"that's what you always say. you've been behaving like a tart lately. S'laters!" she huffs, flicking her fringe over and over before going over to sit with Mabs.

Fine. Be that way Radio Jas. I will face my problems myself.

**10 mins later.**

The footie game has started and we are all watching and cheering for our lurrve Gods.

Well, mine is a Sex God. I mean Robbie.

What are you thinking? of course its Robbie my one and only.

We keep watching and in a few mins...

Dave scores a goal and raises his shirt up singing "The Horn"

He sings..

_The Horn The horn...show me your horn_

_i want to see your horn, sex kitty. please show it to me._

I laugh. Ahh...he's tres tres amusant. The ace gang stare at me and i brush them off quickly.

Ellen is beginning to give me the evils for liking her crush.

I must retire from this silly game of cat and mouse.

I do not like Dave the laugh. I must eschew him with a firm hand full of cement.

**5 mins later**

The footie game is still droning on and on and i am vair bored.

i am even thinking of striking up a convo with wet lindsay to relieve my boredomity but that would make me an insect.

An insect with a giant octopus head

**5 extra long excruciating mins later**

The footie game is finally over and the ace gang go off to celebrate with their lurrve Gods.

Me? i am sitting in a corner trying not to think of how ridiculously hot Dave looks in his knickers.

Lord, Jesus, why am i so focused on his knickers?

Is it because that's where his trouser snake is located at?

God, i'm such a tart.

As i rebuke myself from such tarty thoughts, Dave the laugh comes over to sit by me

"How is my sex kitty?" he says. i laugh in _amusant_ and look at him feeling all nervy-wervy and such.

His hair is slightly matted with sweat so i think i may be turned on.

Or having some extremely strange reaction in hard-to-reach areas.

"You look great" i accidentally say

"What is that sex kitty? Do you finally admit you have been having the prolonged horn for me?" he jokes. We laugh freely.

"What if i tell you that i am" i tease

"Then let the snogging begin!" he announces

**1 min later**

Can you believe it? For a bloody second, i actually considered his offer.

Baby Jesus, what is wrong with me? What happened to eschewing him with a firm hand.

"Georgie, Are you okay. you spaced out on me kitty" Dave the laugh says

"Err nothing" i quickly reply. I dont want him getting ideas of my big red bottom.

"Your basoomas are showing quite well" he says looking at my chest. My hand quite literally, immediately flung to my chest in a pure act of desperadoes.

I dont want him looking at my nunga-nungas. Well, maybe i do.

What? NO i dont!

"So i was thinking Georgia..." Dave the laugh says, all of a sudden looking full of seriousity.

"Would you like to come to Sven's Gig with me?" he asks

What? What the blubbering hell? I don't want to go with him.

Not when Ellen might have a dither attack and come for my throat.

"Errr Dave, as tempting as that sounds. I will have to defer. You see, Ellen has a bit of lurrving for you and i don't want to have her mad at me" i say, exhibiting calmonisty.

"Oh, i get it kittykat. you are afraid your homosexualist boyfriend might come home for my head"

I all of a sudden get upset at Dave and shove him hard.

"Ow!" he yells

"You know Masimo isn't a homosexualist and by the way, we aren't together anymore" i say.

"i'm sorry kittykat. i was only having a bit of fun"

Yeah. Right. i am done with his attitude. I leave the ace gang and suddenly start taking giant steps away from the park.

"Georgia!" i hear Dave yell as i quicken my steps.

"Georgia!" Jas yells too.

If you haven't gotten the gist, i am ignorez-vousing them.

**15 mins later**

Pant...Pant and More pant...

I am at home tucked in my beddie-weddie with Mr Duvet.

He's so cute. If it won't be totally tarty and creepy, i would be getting to number 9 with him.

Anyways, all of a sudden, i can't remember why i got so upset at the HornMeister

Yeah, now i do.

He was being ruddy-wuddy.

I try to calm myself to sleep but i can't because the strange and mad aka mutti and vati are at home.

Vati yells "Well, connie, if for once you would stop being a bloody woman and help me out, we wont be having problems"

What? What is he rambling about? Of course Mutti is a woman...with huge basoomas if i must add.

Vati keeps yelling and i tune him out. I am so sick of my problems. If i wasn't already ignoring Jassy-Spazzy, i would phone her.

But i am, so that's it for now.

I must now sleep but thoughts of Dave in his knickers keep interfering.

In my dream/imagination/wish, we are snogging.

We even get to a number 8.

Now, all of a sudden, all i can think of is Dave's lips

Pants!


End file.
